Women, Men, and the "Sex Industry"

We need to stop thinking that we can pay for sex acts and by sex acts I don't just mean prostitution or quid pro quo dating. In our modern world we do this commercialization of our bodies more than we realize. Men and women believe that they are 'paying' for each others time. With cooking for each other, taking each other out, all sorts of 'selfless' acts that are racked up like debt as “owed favors for later.” And we do this the most when it comes to our sexuality and intimacy practices. And generally unknowingly, but with the express purpose of controlling another individuals free will as a result. We can say all day, “he/she only did what they wanted,” but that's a lie if there ever was one. People frequently act a certain way out of a perceived obligation and its only when we release others and ourselves of obligation, that we are free to act out of our complete volition.

As this relates to sex, certain ideas about it notwithstanding, there is also the truth that, unless physically forced, no one can “make” you do something you don't want to do. If you're taking care of an errand for a family member, you may not like the inconvenience of it, but it doesn't mean you absolutely do not want to do it. And the same hold true for our sexual relationships. You can't make a person do something they absolutely don't want to do unless they feel forced into and that is the inherent indignation with obligation.

We think that we can pay for fellatio, a dirty sanchez, etc, but you can not. You can only “pay” someone, whether with actual capital or a quid pro quo favor, for 'an act' (of kindness) if the other person believes the same about the situation.. And you're not paying for time and temporary fake or real concern for your pleasure either; you're paying for the opportunity to connect with another person as fully as possible with the hope that they and you feel free, trusted, and open to take any further steps towards building on that very real bond. It can be a date, conversational, an actual sex act, or just laying in each others arms.

And the sad thing about the whole situation, why do any of us feel we need to “pay” for the bonding and affection of another. We're here, on this marble toiling away, you don't pay for an energy and availability of love and loving that simply and infinitely exists. You can't pay for that, ever. So johns and susans, stop trying to “pay” for sex acts, because what you're really trying to pay for; is mastering and lording over the free-will of another. Something you can't do, something you shouldn't do. And something that no matter how hard you try, it'll never happen. Them be's the breaks yall. Ya heard!?