5 Relationship Truths For A Lasting Bonding

And the title is deliberate, 'bonding' is an ongoing process. You don't make a promise and the bond is like Elmer's wood glue, lol. You've got to continuously apply the stuff to 'stay together' through all the challenges life throws at unions between folks.

(1) Communication is something that will always be a challenge. Our minds and hearts (what they desire and they endeavor to say) and words (what actually comes out) are slippery and often the two do not sync up in meaning. It's a amazing we can understand each other as well as we do, even speaking the same language, we don't get what another is saying all to often. So communication is a process of listening, deciphering, patience, and allowing time to pass and process the requests and information your partner gives you. Some with words and some with actions, however passive aggressive. :-)

(2) Dependency has a place in a relationship, but it should not be the entire relationship. One is in a relationship because they receive certain things from this partner that they receive from no one else and this means they will necessarily get dependent on what they are receiving. However dependency to the point where one partner's happiness is dependent entirely upon the presence of the other, then you have a problem. And this can be a constant struggle depending on each partners needs until you both reach a clear understanding of those needs, negotiate them and how to accommodate them.

(3) Relationships are about balance the many facets of it without it breaking down. How you relate to each other is dependent upon values, traditions, previous environments and life experiences. As such a relationship is really about syncing up these various things together so that you all a.) provide each other joy b.) ameliorate each other's pain in times of challenge and c.) live your lives separately, but together; each buttressing each other and helping one another achieve progress and success in individual endeavors and d.) supporting your partner's interests/dissimilarities to yourself.

(4) This place that partners need to reach in order to maintain longevity is not going to be easy and is not for every matching. Some pain and discomfort is necessary for self development. But pain and discomfort when both sides are more or less working towards it is really the only time to openly allow for such pain. Meaning, you both need to be in it full tilt or not at all. When a partner refuses any compromise on a variety of issues, seemingly always puts their own needs above their partner's, and actively thinks they have no improvements upon themselves to make, then changing partners is in order. And please know that the idiom exists for a reason, 'walk the walk, talk the talk'. If the behaviors don't match the words of promised change, then know something is off. These people, can come in feminine and male form, and they are solely looking for companions, not life partners. There is a distinct difference. Companionship fills up loneliness, partnership is the essence of team effort, you should be running over with the love energy, not drained by a lack of emotional availability.

(5) So lastly I would have to say that its important for people to be aware to evaluate these features of their relationship. The saying 'behind every good man is a good woman', and the reverse is true as well, 'behind every good woman is a good man.' And as it relates to alternative sexualities 'behind every good individual is another individual', the understanding to be gleaned from that is; people should more or less be picking partners that give richness and fullness to their lives, while giving some of that in return themselves (aka reciprocity). Whenever there is a real perception that this is NOT happening, its a good idea to evaluate whether you should even be in the relationship. And the next steps to take in order to live your life full of volition of spirit and a capacity for big love. Let not others drain this gift from you.