Sex Toy Basic Part 2

Fetish: The most basic information I can provide on fetishes because there are hundreds, if not thousands, is that they are varied. It can be the feet, a fairly common one, or an inanimate object like a wooden, well lacquered horse (yup, this is real). So if you're just curious about what toys fetishists use, I can tell you that's a dissertation and I don't have enough time or inclination to enumerate them for you. If you're curious about fetishism because you realize you're aroused outside of mainstream sexuality; first things first as long as your playmate is willing, of legal age, and you take proper precautions for the more painful or bacterial ridden games (ala bdsm or scat play) (aka GGG), then never feel bad about it. Because and yes I'm quoting Freud, "the only unnatural sex is the sex that can not be had". If it gets you off, then screw what others and overall society says. That being said fetishes are being better catered to by the toy industry in recent years, so if you're into something, look it up.

Also fetishism is very much about what the act accomplishes rather than the act itself (although this is not the case for all fetishes). Take bdsm, pain is enjoyed by some, but its also about who is inflicting the pain and what taking and giving that pain means to the nature of your relationship. Pain hurts, scat stinks, getting called names is humiliating. In and of themselves these things are not necessarily enjoyable. They become enjoyable because sexual arousal is attached and creates a dynamic in the relationship that accomplishes (hopefully) what both parties want. For some its control, for others its releasing control. For others yet its the thrill of the illicit, the unaccepted. Fetishes can be about the act itself, but frequently its because its an avenue people have followed to get an emotional need met. Fetishes are just as valid for emotional needs getting met as safe, healthy dialogue or playing a sport (explain what I mean by getting emotional needs met)

Dolls: Dolls have become so much more cool and realistic than the plastic blow up dolls of yesteryear. People have been making apparatuses to fuck or fuck with since we realized we could fuck and none more so than the ability to create an object in which to quite literally fuck it. They come in a variety of sizes for the individual that likes a thin partner to those who like plus sizes. There are dolls that mimic the biological woman and the biological male. There are trans dolls. They can be your simple blow up doll and they can be a several thousand dollar silicone doll with a real flesh-like feel and a beautifully sculpted face to match. They are absolutely awesome and a good alternative to individuals that have disabilities and medical issues. And in countries like America where prostitution is illegal, they become all the more necessary. If you're interested in high end dolls I'd start here.

Lube: So many things to say about lubricants, so little time. There are literally thousands of varieties with the smallest differences in formula. There are 4 major categories; silicone, water based, hybrid (water and silicone mixture), and oil (totally NOT latex safe, but then you already knew that right?) Lubricants are mainly used for what else but trying desperately to not get friction burn. A well lubricated vagina or anus is........just sooo mother fing necessary and it amazes me how many people go without. And some times on purpose. And a side note: ladies do not sacrifice orgasms and put yourself in danger of vaginal tears because using lube "means my lady bits are old and unattractive" (yes I've heard this). Your vag not producing enough natural lubrication frequently means nothing more than some dehydration and/or changes in your monthly hormonal cycle. And for anal: ALWAYS USE IT! the anus doesn't produce its own lubrication, you need something to ease entry, other-wise tears, anger, and even post traumatic stress could ensue (for real).

New and different: There are ALOT of toys that defy categorization all together. From the Ora by Lelo to Revel Body Soul to lube shooters. In trying to give a broad overview of toys I still wanted to mention those toys that are ingenious.

Pockets Pals: Pocket pals or masturbators are exactly what they sound like, a device to better facilitate male masturbation. Sometimes the hand just isn't enough. Or sometimes you just want something that feels different from the norm. Pocket pals are usually made from jelly plastics (tpr, tpe, elastomers, silicone) and have a suitably squishy and yet still firm texture. They are generally made to feel as much like a woman's lady bits as possible, but they also come extra tight to mimic the anus as well. Different strokes for different folks (get it, hee hee). But I digress, they have a variety of textures too. From bumpy to nubby and they even include metal balls for texture. They come in varieties that cover the entire shaft to varieties that only cover the tip depending on whether an individual wants to completely envelope the shaft or only wants friction on a certain portion. They are primarily used for private self love, but couples also use them for fellatio (blow job) too. The shorter varieties allow for the partner to cover the head of the shaft with their mouth, while stroking with the masturbator for a truly awesome bj! They are also good to use to practice your stamina with too. If you're completing too soon, you can practice coming to orgasm slower. They're great toys that have a variety of uses.

Pumps: Pumps are not without there issues. They frequently get sold (and most erroneously at that) as a device to substantially increase a males penis. And to date that just isn't true. There are implant procedures, artificial extensions, and even penile exercises that can gain length (but also sacrifice girth in the process). But sadly to date there is no pump that can make a medium thick 5 inch cock into an 8 inch monster cock that she can barely wrap her hands around. Here's what pumps can do and are designed for: they are for erectile dysfunction (I.e. if you can get a hard on without pumps or pills you shouldn't even be using one.) They work by vacuum, whereby blood is pumped up the shaft by suction (capillary action) And is held there by a cock ring until satisfaction (usually orgasm) is reached by one or both or more parties. Pro tip: The rings should not be worn for more than 30 minutes, as a priapism could occur. Pumps should have safety features like a quick release valve and they should be made with silicone or certain types of plastic, ideally. There are medical grade devices that a prescription is needed for and then there are your sex shop pumps that get the job done. But are also not regulated so their safety features, materials, and ability to create an adequate vacuum may not be up to par. Definitely do your research and if you're just really needing a larger size, check out the links on the safer alternatives to enlarge your junk.

Cockrings: Cockrings are principally for a male's physical enjoyment. As tightness around the base of the penis and balls is not most people's idea of comfort. However, they can be extremely enjoyable and comfortable if worn properly. They also help maintain an erection and this could be a good alternative or a compliment to male enhancement pills. They work by keeping fluid that has built up in the penile vessels due to arousal from back tracking. The backtracking to the testes and other parts, is a normal process and is the reason why guys don't run around with a hard on 24/7. But if the body whether due to stress, older age, health complications, etc is releasing its arousal before both parties feel like things have been 'completed', it can be incredibly frustrating. So cock rings can help. Also even if you're a sexually healthy male, another reason to wear a cock ring is because it can also make for a more powerful orgasm. When you keep blood flow in the shaft for longer, the resulting orgasm can be intense. But if you want this toy without serious complication you need the right size. An easy test for when you're shopping in person is to use your fingers to approximate the size of your aroused member and put them inside the ring. Whatever size seems to fit, but not feel uncomfortable around the fingers is what you should buy. If you're shopping online and you've got measuring tape (or get creative with some string and a ruler) you can measure your aroused circumference, calculate your diameter (here's how), and pick the ring that's closest. Also many rings are jellied and can be super stretchy so sizing doesn't matter as much and these are good for beginners to use, so they get can get an idea of what feels good and what doesn't and can more easily take the thing off should it prove particularly tight.

So have Fun and be Safe!